


When the Universe gets Turned Upside Down

by Lisalicious



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate universe-Alternate universe, DarkPilot, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Major Character Death in AU only, Mpreg, Things are a bit messed up, benarmie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-25 11:22:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9818168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lisalicious/pseuds/Lisalicious
Summary: Kylo wakes up alone. Everything of Poe's is gone, and they're supposed to be married in 2 days. Even down at the Hangar everything is gone. He runs to Command to find his mother, and finds someone else as well. Hux...but not the Hux he knew.He's been coaxed into going to his mother's office to discuss what in the Galaxy is going on when he sees it. The memorial...not for his father, but for his beloved pilot.





	1. Waking Up on the Wrong Side of the Bed

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this one is a bit weird. It came from a prompt for DC for Darkpilot Rituals/traditions...And I planned on a fic where Kylo wakes up and Poe's not there and things end up all cute and stuff, but then my brain ran away with it and said 'What if Kylo wakes up in an AU?' And it steamrolled from there. 
> 
> Second, it's probably obvious, but I'm a multi-shipper. This fic is exploiting that a bit.

Kylo woke up alone and confused. Poe should be curled up behind him, the big spoon, but he was not there.

It was strange. Kylo was the one who woke early, from nightmares, from the sunlight pouring through the window (spending years in space acclimatized one to sleeping with pure darkness), from the Force telling him he had enough rest.

Poe liked to have lie-ins whenever he could manage. Being a pilot meant he might be called out for a mission at any moment. When the alarm sounded, Poe answered. And so when he had the extra chance to sleep, he took it.

Which was why Kylo was confused. He knew the pilot didn't have flight training scheduled until that afternoon. He would have woken up if the emergency alarm had sounded. And if Poe received a comm to report to Command, Kylo would have most likely received one, too.

So where was Poe?

Kylo threw the covers off himself. He rolled out of bed, stretched, and yawned making noises reminiscent of his wookie uncle. He put the bed back together without needing to change the sheets.  With how busy both of them had been lately getting everything ready for their wedding and honeymoon, they’d both collapsed into bed, asleep before their heads hit their pillows. Once everything was in it’s place the Knight turned to the room at large, and he could feel something wasn’t right.

It took him a moment to notice some key things were missing. Pictures on the wall and nightstand. Things weren’t arranged quite right, or more everything was placed very precisely about the room, as if it wasn’t quite lived in. Kylo rushed to the closet and threw it open...no flight suits. No dress blacks. Nothing there remotely looked like Poe.

“POE?” He yelled, hoping against hope that it was some terrible joke. That his fiancé wasn’t gone.

Kylo ran to the living room, knowing there was one thing that would tell him Poe hadn’t left him 2 days before they were supposed to get married. But BB-8’s charging station wasn’t there. Poe’s models and design plans were gone. Everything...everything that made this place Poe’s home had vanished.  As if it had never been there in the first place.

He choked back a sob as he ran out of the shared quarters. He tried to think of what he could have possibly done to make Poe leave. But nothing came to mind...he was at a loss. Maybe he could find his Pilot at the hangar, talk to him, work it out. They were so close...how could Poe leave now…

But he began to despair as he tore around the pilots and spacecraft. There was no sign of his Fiance. (And Kylo refused to consider that they were doing anything other than getting married in 2 days, the were absolutely not...over) He went to where Black One should be, but it wasn’t there. Nothing was there 

He started to panic.

Poe...Poe was gone. There was no trace of him.

Kylo needed to find his mother. She would know if Poe left. She would be able explain everything. Perhaps it was a surprise for the wedding? Poe moved his belongings first, and Kylo would move his things before they departed on their honeymoon? People secretly moved their things into a surprise house all the time, right?

He ran towards the Command Center. He didn’t pay much mind to the people who greeted him, who hailed him. His only thought was to find his mother. She would be able to help him fix this better than anything, except for finding Poe. Where the hell had Poe gone?

He burst through the doors, not caring that he looked a hysterical mess. Poe was gone, and if Poe was gone for good everyone on base would know just how broken and hysterical Kylo would feel. And that’s if he was able to keep it together enough not to fall. He would definitely need to spend time with Rey and Uncle Luke...but NO! He wouldn’t need to. Poe...Poe couldn’t be gone. It was not possible.

He started sobbing.

“MOM!” He choked out.

He hadn’t seen her yet, but he knew she was there. He could feel her in the room. He reached out for her in an attempt to call her to him through the Force.

“Ben?” She called back to him, feeling his distress. She stood from where she’d been leaning over a holodisplay conferring with a couple people. She rushed over to him, but made eye contact with a few people behind him before she addressed him. “Ben? Sweetheart, what happened?” 

“I...I can’t...he’s...I can’t...find him…” He tried to calm himself enough to talk coherently as Leia wrapped her arms around him as best she could to her tall son. He slumped against her a bit. “Poe...I woke up...an-an-and he...he was just gone.”

“Ben...I don’t understand.”

“HE’S GONE. All his belongings. BB-8’s charging station, his models, his clothes...Black One...Where? Where did he go? I...I need to talk to him...he can’t leave now.  2 days.  Mom, please help me! 

“Ben, I-”

“Mom, we’ve been through this. I thought we were past it. It’s Kylo...I haven’t been Ben for-”

“Ben? Darling, what’s going on?”

Kylo pushed back from his mother, and turned to face the man who’d spoken to him. He knew exactly who it was by the sound of his voice, but so much softer, less severe than he had ever heard it. The red hair was shorter than it had been the last time he’d seen it. The eyes were the same piercing blue, but they were also softer, and definitely not condescending or calculating, they didn’t hold the anger he remembered seeing there constantly. They were soft, loving, and concerned.

“Hux?...Hux, I…” He’d called him Darling. The wracking sobs stopped due to pure shock. Kylo looked the General...Ex-General up and down. His eyes landed on the man’s stomach, which swelled in a way that meant he had to be… “Hux, are you pregnant?”

And there was the anger Kylo recognized. 

“Yes, you idiot. Did you forget the part where you made me this way?” Kylo only gaped at him. Hux...General Hux...was pregnant...apparently with his child. But that...that couldn’t be- “And why are you calling me Hux? I haven’t gone by that name...for years. You know I prefer Ari or Armitage." 

Kylo would have dropped something if he’d been holding anything. As it was he nearly sat down on the floor. None of this was making sense...what was going on? 

“I made you pregnant?” was the first comment Kylo was able to formulate.

“Well, I hope it was you as you’re my husband, and I haven’t slept with anyone else for years.”

“But...Poe? What happened to Poe?”

“Poe?  Poe Dameron?”

“He’s the only Poe I know...I...I’m supposed to marry him in 2 days?” 

“Ben?” Leia broke in before Hux could answer. “Perhaps we should go sit in my office...or maybe we should take you to the Medical Center?”

Kylo shook a bit. This...this was some bizarre dream, it had to be.

“Let’s go sit in your office.” He mumbled as he allowed himself to be steered in that direction. Leia had one arm, Hux had the other. He watched the floor, more than anything, as they walked him along until something caught his eye. He gasped and stopped. “No…”

“Ben, you’re worrying me.” Hux whispered, and pulled on Kylo’s arm to keep him moving. “Please, let’s get into Leia’s office. So we can figure out what’s happening with you.”

“But...but that’s...that’s Poe…”

“Yes, we know. Please, one foot in front of the other. Right...then left. Please, Darling. 

Kylo started hyperventilating. Somehow Hux and Leia were able to move him towards her office, though his body didn’t want to listen to him or them. He wanted to sink to the floor of Command and scream, his pride and dignity be damned. He didn’t want to function. He didn’t want to think or analyze what in the Galaxy was actually wrong with him. 

Because whatever happened to him that made him wake up in whatever bizarre dream universe he was in couldn’t prepare him for what was set up in the corner of the Command Center.

Nothing could.

The love of his life. The man he was supposed to marry in 2 days. The only one he’d ever loved...ever. Poe Dameron. There in the corner stood a small shrine, a memorial in honor of the best pilot the Resistance ever had. A memorial...because Poe Dameron was dead.

Somehow, someway, Leia and Hux got Kylo into her office before he could break down completely. They sat him down in one of the chairs in front of her desk, and each pulled a chair around to sit facing him. Tears poured down his face. His mind was not forming coherent thoughts, but he did manage one thing.

“When...when did it happen?”

Leia and Hux looked at each other, then Hux nodded.

“He was captured on Jakku.” Hux started. He reached to take one of Kylo’s trembling hands, but pulled back when Kylo jerked away. “They televised his execution once they tortured all the information out of him they could.”

“But...but that...I...I was the one to capture him...and Finn...he broke Poe out…”

“Ben, you...you were here when it happened.” Leia uttered quietly. She also reached out to take a hold of Kylo’s other hand, and he allowed her to touch him.

“Who is Finn?” Hux asked.

“The...one of...your Stormtroopers who...defected…FN-2187.”

“There haven’t been any Stormtroopers who defected.” Leia claimed.

“And why do you say _my_ Stormtroopers?” Hux still looked like he wanted to grasp Kylo’s hand, but was weary of it.

“Because...because you are...or were...Armitage Hux, General of the First Order. My co-commander on the Finalizer.”

“Ben...I don’t...I’ve never. Neither of us ever served the First Order...And, while my birth father’s last name was Hux, I haven’t gone by that name since I was taken in by my adoptive family.”

Kylo started to feel overwhelmed. They kept calling him Ben. Hux claimed to be his husband, and was pregnant with their child. He also claimed to have never served the First Order, and apparently neither had ‘Ben.’ He also doesn’t go by Hux. His mother did not seem surprised by any of this. And then there was the horrible fact that his beloved fiance had been killed three years earlier. Kylo didn’t know how much more he could handle at the moment.

Then the door to the office opened.

“Hey, Kid, what going on? Both Snap and Commander Kun said you were acting weird, and didn’t answer when they yelled at you.”

Han Solo, his father. His father was alive. His father stood in front of him, between Leia and Hux, and gripped his shoulder. Concerned eyes peered down at him from where he stood. Concerned eyes that didn’t hold a hint of the fear that Kylo had always seen in them.

“Dad? Dad, I...you’re alive?”

Han gave a startled look to Leia, glanced down at Hux, then crouched down to get on a more even level with his son. He plastered a warm, comforting smile on his face.

“Of course I’m alive. What else would I be, Ben?”

That caused the tears to fall harder. How do you tell your father that, as far as you were aware, you had killed him? A man who had always been afraid of him, a man who hid from him whenever his emotions spiked, who accused him of having ‘too much Vader’ in him, who had no idea how to be a father...whom had wanted him back, wanted him to come home. The man whose death he regretted more than any other. More than anything he regretted in his life.

“But...I killed you…”

Han nearly sat down on the floor. He looked shocked. Leia gasped. Hux stood up, and started to pace. 

“I’m comming Luke.” He distressed. 

Kylo nodded. He knew it was a good idea.

“Have him bring Rey.” He mumbled through the tears. For some reason, since he broke the connection with Snoke and came back, Rey always had a calming effect on him. It was like she was trying to protect him.

“Rey?”

FUCK!

“She...was on Jakku…But, if there was no defected Stormtrooper, there was no retrieval a Force Sensitive on Jakku, was there?”

“Not by the Resistance, no.” Leia said, resigned.

“She was taken by Snoke?”

“All we know is he gained another apprentice after Jakku. One much more fearsome than any of the other Knights of Ren.”

“Yes, the Force is very strong with Rey, she made a very formidable foe before I came home.”

The others exchanged looks again. Hux hurriedly typed a message into his comm unit.

“You mean when you were training with Luke?” Han asked.

“No, I don’t think he does.” Hux replied.

Han looked very confused.

“What’s he talking about, Ben?”

“I...I’m not…” It was almost like they were back on that bridge. Kylo shook at the thought. Han tightened his grip on his shoulder. “Dad, I’m not Ben. I haven’t been Ben for a long time.”

“Honey, what are you talking about?” Leia had a death grip on his hand.

He looked at his mother, and felt like he was about to rip her heart. Maybe he was.

“I fell. Snoke...he...he was in my head for years. Possibly since birth. He...planted dark ideas, thoughts, feelings in me. He never gave me a moment’s peace. He influenced and orchestrated my fall. He destroyed the boy, Ben Organa Solo. He fell...I fell, and the day that happened I became Kylo Ren.”

“But...you’re here.” Han refused to accept it. “You never left, save for with Luke, and you chose to go train with him.”

“Han, he’s been saying some strange things since he ran into Command 20 minutes ago.” Hux sniffled.

Kylo, his attention directed at his parents, hadn’t noticed that Hux had started to cry. He felt marginally guilty. He knew it was because of how he was acting, but how else was he supposed to act. He was not the ‘Ben’ they thought he was. He simply wasn’t.

He wasn’t Hux’s husband and father of his baby. He wasn’t the Ben who apparently never fell to the Darkside and chose to train with his Uncle.

He was Kylo, whom his parents abandoned with Luke. Whom fell, and destroyed his Uncle’s temple. Who did many terrible things under the influence of Snoke, who promised his apprentice that his pain and suffering would stop once he fell completely to the dark. Whom, after he killed his father, realized that the pain would never stop. He realized Snoke had been wrong all along. He fought. He didn’t win. But he broke free from Snoke’s control, and he prayed to the Force that his mother would take him back. He also prayed to the Force that Luke and Rey would be willing to work with him against Snoke.

He hadn’t been able to go directly to his mother, even if he could have flown himself, but she sent a shuttle for him. And with it she sent her best pilot, the only one she trusted with the retrieval of her son. Never mind what he’d already done to the Pilot. And they’d screamed at each other, Poe with every right to be angry, and Kylo because he was sorry but couldn’t form an apology into words that would ever be good enough.

No apology he could ever give anyone would ever be good enough.

But once they screamed it out, and Kylo managed to say some form of apology and give a brief abbreviation of what he’d been through with Snoke, something unexpected happen. The fallen Knight saw compassion fill the Pilot’s eyes. Compassion that eventually turned to kindness and friendship...that eventually turned to love. A love he was certain he didn’t deserve, but eventually had the courage to accept and return when he realized it wasn’t going away.  And here, wherever here was, Poe was gone forever.

Kylo watched his father stand, let go of his shoulder, and go over to Hux. He helped him to his empty chair. He glanced through tear filled eyes at the Knight, then looked away. He wrapped his arms around his growing belly for comfort, and bit his lip clearly trying to hold back sobs.

“I’m s-sorry.” He cried, his voice shook. “I just...i-it’s the p-pregnancy h-h-hormones.”

“It’s okay, Kid.” Han comforted. “Not sure what’s going on with Benny, but Luke will help get this figured out.”

“Look, I’m sorry, Hux. I...honestly don’t know what’s going on. I-”

“STOP! I-if you’re going t-to in-insist we call you s-some Force awful name, y-you’re going t-to c-call me w-what I want t-to b-be c-called, too.”

Watery gaze met watery gaze, and Kylo nodded. “Then what should I call you? I’m sorry, but Hux is the only thing you wished to go by when...we were in the Order…”

“I w-was n-never in the O-order. M-my birth f-father th-threw me o-out w-when he found out _this_ c-could happen.” He indicated his baby bump. “I w-was on my o-own f-for a couple months before I was found by Republic pilot. He and his family took me in. I’m not Armitage Hux...I’m Armitage Antilles, or I was before we married, so if you insist on calling me by a surname use that one. Otherwise call me Ari, like you normally do.”

“Alright...A-Ari.”

He tripped over the name so awkwardly, and Kylo knew he shouldn’t have tried using the nickname. Hux, who had calmed a bit, couldn’t choke back the sob at the Knight stumbling over his name. He’d returned to his usual fierce self for a second, but when his husband couldn’t say his name as he normally did, his resolve crumbled again.

Kylo wondered if the other man thought that he saying his name would somehow make everything snap back into place. No, the Galaxy was not that kind. If he could go to sleep curled up with his fiancé, and wake up the next morning alone and have almost everything he’d ever known be wrong? Sure he’d somehow gotten Han Solo back in a universe where he supposedly never fell to the dark side, but Poe...here Poe died 3 years ago. On his mission to Jakku…

“WAIT! If I didn’t fall...Luke’s temple...the massacre, did it happen?” Kylo was aware his voice sounded a bit hysterical.

“What are you talking about, Be-Kylo?” Leia asked. She made the effort to use his chosen name, and that helped calm him a bit. Of the 3 of them, she seemed the most accepting of the way he was acting.  Perhaps she could feel his honesty in the situation through the Force.

“When I fell...I, with the help of the other Knights of Ren, killed what was left of Luke’s students and destroyed the temple.”

They all looked at him in horror.

“N-no.” Leia whispered. “That never happened. Students left, and we found out later that they joined Snoke, but…”

“So, Luke never disappeared? Never went in search for the First Jedi Temple?”

“No, he’s always been here on Yavin.” 

“So why send Poe to Jakku?”

“There was talk of a superweapon.”  
  
“The Starkiller.”

“Yes. We didn’t have any proof it was there, but Poe...he had contacts all over the Galaxy thanks to helping Han for a few years before he officially joined the Resistance. Anyways, one of his contacts was a leak for the First Order. They set up a meeting on Jakku, but the First Order must have tracked down their leak.”

Kylo slumped back in his chair. “Clearly. Did they manage to destroy the Republic?”

“No, they executed Poe from the Starkiller Base. Televised it publicly over the holonet. Between us and the Republic fleet and their operatives and undercover agents, we were able to mount an offensive, and destroyed the thing.”

Before Kylo could ask another question the door to the office opened. In walked Luke, his robes billowing around him. He looked around at everyone in the room after the door sealed behind him, and he hummed thoughtfully.

“Armitage said it was crucial that I come down right away.” He addressed Kylo directly as he stepped over to the group. “I didn’t realize it was simply to be marriage counselor again.”

“Excuse me? NO!” Kylo finally offered Hux an apologetic look. “Listen, I’m sorry, Hux...er...Ari, but I can’t.” He looked up at Luke. “I’m not...married to him. I… I’m not Ben.”

Hux sobbed audibly again.

Luke considered him more directly now. The light and easy manner he had when he’d walked in changed to seriousness right away.

“Now that you mention it, there is something off about you in the Force. Something...Dark.”

“Stop that!” Han yelled. “I am getting sick and tired you all talking about how Ben, here, went Dark. Like he’s Vader or something.”

“Funny.” Kylo snorted. “You used to accuse me of that all the time. That I had too much Vader in me.”

Now Han looked taken aback and hurt. Kylo  couldn’t help it though. He wasn’t Ben. He felt a hint of vindictive pleasure rush through him at the chance to shame his father for a moment, but knew it wouldn’t help. This Han had almost certainly never accused Ben of having too much Vader in him.

“So, you’re not Ben.” Kylo felt Luke brush against his mind slightly. Kylo turned his gaze to his uncle. “I can feel your distress, and your apprehension. It might help if...you let me in. To see if I can help you straighten things out?”

Kylo shuddered. Thought back to when another master would delve into his mind, without permission, to control, and distort, and harm, and break. This was not one of those situations. He’d learned to trust Luke since his return. But he couldn’t help that the feeling of apprehension grew at the mere idea of Luke entering his mind.

Despite his trepidation, he nodded.

“Now remember, this will be easier if you don’t try to block me. I realize it’s not a natural sensation, and it may even be painful, but-”

Kylo held up his hand to interrupt.

“It’s alright, Uncle...I know well enough what it feels like.”  
  
Luke gave him an appraising look, like he wanted to ask some questions. Instead he steeled himself for a second before he dove in.

It was difficult for Kylo not to fight the intrusion, but he realized momentarily that Luke’s presence in his mind did not hurt. It surprised him. Every time Snoke pushed in the Knight had found himself in utter agony. Either Luke was doing something to buffer the feeling, or intent had a lot to do with how the Force felt to others. Whatever the reason Kylo opened himself up more to Luke’s gentle intrusion, and he saw flashes of the memories that his Uncle accessed.

He wasn’t sure how long Luke moved through his mind, but Kylo started to pant. He wasn’t in pain, but he was starting to feel the pressure mount. Then he heard Luke’s voice echoing in his head, _I’m almost done. Just bare with me a few minutes more._ He tried to nod or answer in his head, but found himself unable to respond at all. And Kylo jerked. The flashes of memory became more chaotic and he couldn’t manage to calm them, though he tried. He couldn’t stop himself, he needed to fight. He needed control. He couldn’t let Luke have the control. _Kylo, I need you to calm down, so I can’t withdraw from your mind without hurting you._ Hearing his chosen name calmed him enough for the old Jedi to withdraw from his mind. He nearly passed out from the intensity of the sensation.

When Kylo came back to himself he realized that Luke had his hand on either side of his head, their foreheads pressed together. The Jedi was sending small, reassuring pushes against his mind through the Force. The Knight shuddered again.

“I’m sorry. I went deeper than I originally intended to, but I wanted to be sure.” Luke said, his voice soothing.

“What...what are you sure of?” His tongue felt useless, not wanting to form the words. Everything felt heavy, like he could sleep for days. But he was grateful of whatever buffer Luke had used on him.

“That you are not Ben.”

There was a sharp intake of breath from the others, and another muffled sob from Hux.

“What do you mean, he’s not Ben?” Han demanded from where he was now perched against Leia’s desk.

“I was confused myself.” Luke replied as he slowly backed away from Kylo so that he crouched before the Knight. “It’s why I went so deep. To make sure the memories hadn’t been buried. But no. He’s not Ben. At least not our Ben.”

“Luke, what do you mean?” Leia asked.

“I don’t know how to explain it exactly. He was Ben Organa Solo a long time ago. But his memories tell a very different story from the Ben Organa Solo we know. He’s been through many terrible ordeals, it’s amazing he survived it all...Kylo, are you alright?”

“I...yeah...I just...it’s a lot to…” 

Luke nodded. He gently released his grip on Kylo’s head.

“And that’s not what it was like...with Snoke?”

“No…It...was so painful, so consuming. I...would try to fight him, and he would beat me, overwhelm me, break me.”

“It’s unbelievable that he didn’t completely destroy your mind.”

“He did...Ben’s.”

“How…” Hux had managed to calm himself again. He looked extremely worn out, but also determined. Kylo was strongly reminded of when the Starkiller was destroyed. “How long ago did that happen?”

“I was 15.”

“But...if you fell, how are you here?”

“He promised me the pain would stop...if I gave in...gave up everything...destroyed any connection I might still have to the Light. And, to do that, I needed to kill my father. But...he was using me for my power. And the pain...it only got worse. Once I realized what he was doing to me..I...I contacted my mother. She sent her best pilot out to bring me home.”

“Let me guess...it was love at first sight, and you two fell all over each other.” Hux griped bitterly.

“No, you asshole!” 

“Easy Ben...or whoever the hell you are. He’s pregnant, and this can’t be easy on him, either.” Han cut in acting rather protectively. It was a nice thing to see, really, but Kylo couldn’t help wonder why he couldn’t have gotten this Han Solo as his father instead of the one he’d grown up with.

“It’s Kylo. And I don’t care if he’s feeling jealous and cranky.” He hissed at Han, then turned back to Hux. “Poe screamed at me the whole flight to the base. You know what Luke just did to me? Well, I did that same crap to Poe, maliciously, after he’d already been tortured for hours by others, just so I could get a map to hunt down and destroy a man who disappeared. I was blinded by a means to an end, and I nearly killed him. And I had to tell him why I did it...I had to tell him that I was not in control of myself. I had to tell him I had been powerless against the poison that was what Snoke did to me. There is not a day that passes that I will ever be worthy of Poe. After everything I’ve done, I never could be. Yet somehow, someway that I don’t understand, Poe fell in love with me...I don’t get it, what he sees in me. It took me over a year to actually accept that he could love me and I could love him back and that it was okay for me to be happy. Even now that I'm supposed to marry him in a couple days I can hardly believe it.”

Hux gave Kylo a disdainful, hurt look, and stormed out. Both Han and Leia wondered if they should go after him, but Luke spoke up.

“It won't help anything right this second. I think the only thing that would console him currently is Ben.”

“Okay...so you're telling us...definitively...that this is not Ben?” Han asked, just not able to comprehend the situation.

“Han, it's pretty clear we already established that.” Leia replied as she facepalmed.

“So if this...Kylo...is here, where is our Ben?”

“I’m not entirely sure.” Luke replied.

“Well, why is he here, instead of Ben?”

“Again...I can only make a guess, and even then I may be completely wrong.”

“Maybe it’s the universe punishing me for ever thinking I could be happy.” Kylo muttered as he started down at his hands.

“Ben, you don’t really believe that?” Leia urged. She didn’t want her son to be so morose. But the look Kylo gave her took her aback. Then she realized she’d slipped and used the wrong name.

“I’m not Ben. I’m not _your_ son.” He growled angrily. “You may look like my mother, and I may look like your son. But. I. Am. Kylo. And I have done terrible things-”

“But you returned. Like your grandfather did. You returned to the Light.”

“No, I didn't.”

“But…” Leia looked at Luke, stricken. “I don't understand. Dark...is evil, dangerous.”

“No, you've got too much of your uncle, your mother, and your old man in you to go Dark and stay Dark.” Han huffed.

Kylo scowled at the people who in some universe were his parents. Still hiding their heads in the sand about his reality. Maybe their Ben had never been mentally tortured and groomed for the fall as he had, but he still must have been tempted. He was married to Hux after all, and Jedi weren't allowed attachments like that. At least that’s how Luke taught it. Regardless, Kylo knew loving someone was not wrong, so he couldn’t fault Ben if that’s how he felt about Hux and Luke allowed it.

He was about to speak up about Dark not necessarily being evil when Luke started for him.

“I just had a very deep look into Kylo’s mind.” He started. “I understand that all you have known of Dark is that it is evil and Light is good. Black and white so to speak, but Kylo, his emotions rule him. And thanks to the way his life played out he cannot simply just be Light. His temperament will never be peaceful enough to be fully light. This is not a bad thing. I mean look at yourself, Leia. You never had the temperament either. Even Ben has pulled some strings on being a Jedi. First he and Poe were together for years, and now he’s married to Hux and they are expecting a child.”

“Yes, but-” Leia tried to interject, but Kylo talked over her.

“Dark is not necessarily evil, but how you use it and the power you seek with it can be. I will never have the discipline to master the Light, but I am also not entirely Dark. I love, I am passionate with my emotions, but I have learned to temper things...to not give in to complete Darkness. I was lost to it for a long time, but I came to the realization that complete Darkness only cause me greater pain. That’s when I began to fight the Supreme Leader’s control over me. Once I became strong enough to break away from Snoke, I did.”

“And I am certain that Kylo is not evil.” Luke added. “He may be on the dangerous side, grey, so to speak, but he’s not evil.”

“And he can't be that bad if Dameron’s marrying him.” If Kylo had been holding anything, he would have dropped it. The last person he expected to defend him just had. And they all stared at Han. “What? The kid ran with Chewie and me for 5 years before he officially joined this outfit. If anyone could read the goodness in people, it was him. I know he's not the exact same Poe, but if he's Commander there like he was here, he's still got that...and that's all I need to know.”

Kylo blushed, he couldn't help it.

“Thanks, Dad.” He expressed quietly, a sad smile graced his face. “But how do I get back to him? Here he’s dead and gone...and my experience with Hux is a far cry from the relationship that Ben and Ari have. I can’t stay here. I need…”

“Kylo, if you are willing, I would like to meditate with you.” Luke suggested. “I realize that meditation is not one of your strengths, but, until the Force opens either of our eyes to a reason or solution, it is the best way to proceed.”

“Y-yes...I agree.” Kylo answered apprehensively.

“Han, Leia, perhaps you could find Armitage and at least make sure he’s not straining himself too much. I don’t foresee him being comforted until our Ben is back, but Ben won’t thank us if something happens to his husband and child.”

They nodded, and all rose to leave the office. Leia and Han went one way out of the Command Center.  Kylo followed Luke in the opposite direction.


	2. Talking it through with your Husband?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Ari talk about their relationships and past.

Kylo sat on a hill not far from the main grounds of the Resistance base. It was one of the few hills with a random clearing at the top that graced the otherwise mostly jungle terrain of Yavin IV. And Kylo just wanted to stare out at the planet without having to climb the tallest tree in the area.

Meditating with Luke had done nothing to give Kylo a clear idea as to why he had woken up in another universe. The longer they were at it, the more frustrated Kylo felt. He had never been very adept at meditation, even the times when he managed to drown the venomous voice out. It usually took so long to reach a calm enough state to properly connect with the Force that he would grow bored and lose his concentration almost right away. It had gone remarkably better with Luke this time around, but still resulted with the Knight wanting to pull out his lightsaber and destroy walls. The old Jedi could sense his growing irritation and called a halt to their joint meditations.

“I believe I will be able to continue on my own with this, if you would like to go eat.” Luke offered tactfully.

“Are you sure?” Though hungry, Kylo wasn’t sure if he would even be able to eat. But he appreciated his uncle’s consideration. “You don’t need to connect to this through me?” 

“Kylo, I’ve been so deep in your mind today that I will be able to connect to you and anything linked to you for weeks to come. Go. Change out of your pajamas. Get something to eat. I’m sorry I can’t help you find your answers faster and send you home, but the Force will help us work it out in time. I promise I will get you back to your own existence.”

He nodded. He wanted to believe that they would find the answer. That whatever had caused this insanity that was his life starting that day could be resolved. He didn’t care if it would be easy or difficult. He wanted to get back to his life. His Poe. Where things made sense. Where he wasn’t jealous of somebody for getting a distinctly better version of his life right up until Poe died here.

“I’ll call for you when it becomes clear.” Luke finished.

“Thank you, Uncle.” Kylo inclined his head, then turned to leave.

Kylo had gone to what were his quarters, shared with Hux instead of Poe. He heaved a sigh of relief finding the place empty. Kylo wasn’t ready to deal with an upset, pregnant man, who claimed to be his husband. He just wasn’t.

After he changed he thought about going to the cafeteria to get something to munch on (not because he was hungry, but to give his mouth something to do), but the thought of being around a bunch of people who didn’t know he wasn’t Ben Organa Solo appealed to him less than the thought of food. So Kylo walked off the base. If they needed to find him they could do so through the Force.

That was how Kylo ended up sitting in the clearing at the top of the hill, staring at the mountains and jungle that surrounded the base.  He’d felt through the Force that this was the place to come, so who was he to argue?  

Sitting there he couldn’t help it as he thought of Poe. Kylo knew the Dameron’s farm was only a few miles away. He could walk there in a few hours, less time if the terrain was kinder. He wondered how Kes was managing the loss of his son. He wondered how different things were in this life compared to the one Kylo lived in. He wondered if maybe Shara had survived, maybe Poe had siblings here. After all everything else here was different.

Next he dwelled on the fact that Luke had mentioned that Ben and Poe had been together for years. He wondered what that meant exactly. Had Ben been on a spiritual training journey through the jungle, and his wanderings through the Force led him to the young pilot? Had Ben been as shy and reserved and afraid of the feeling that grew the moment he saw Poe as an adult as Kylo had been? Standoffish because he was the Jedi, and Jedi weren’t allowed attachments like a lover. Or was Poe the one who needed to be convinced that they could have a relationship?

Kylo let his mind wander, thinking and exploring what his life was like in that life, as time passed on the hill. He hadn’t felt the pull to return, or a call through the Force from his mother or uncle, so he stayed there. Though he felt lost in this different universe, he felt at peace there on the hill. Like maybe if he continued to let his mind drift on everything that could be in this world, he would naturally drift to the island of thought that would lead him home.  

Then he heard somebody climbing the hill.

He turned to see who came to find him and was surprised to see Hux. No, he wasn’t Hux, not here. Here was Ari Antilles, husband of Ben Organa Solo. Kylo couldn’t fault the man for seeking out his husband...even if he wasn’t the husband he was looking for.

Ari stopped short when he realized Kylo was watching him. He looked like he wasn’t sure if he should keep coming, or run away. But Kylo nodded. Ari gave him a small, sad smile and closed the distance between them.

“Did Leia or Luke tell you where I was?” Kylo asked.

“No.” Ari answered quietly.

“Then how did you find me?”

“This is Ben’s favorite place to meditate.”

Kylo snorted. Figures. “The Force brought me here.”

“That’s what Ben says, too.”

They were quiet for a few moments as they tried not to stare at each other. Ari slowly let the bag he had slung over his shoulder fall to the ground. Kylo couldn’t help watching as he placed a hand on the lower half of his belly, as if to support the baby.

“You can sit down if you want to.” Kylo offered.

Ari let out a relieved huff, and tried to sit as gracefully as he could. Kylo was moderately surprised with just how close the other man sat. Then he had to force himself not to move away when the redhead scooted right up next to him so their hips and thighs were touching.

“I brought some food.” Ari said as he pulled his bag into his lap and opened it. “I expect you haven’t eaten yet today. When something is bothering Ben terribly he tends not to eat.”

“Thank you.” Kylo accepted the sandwich and bottle of water Ari handed to him.

They ate in silence for a while. Kylo noted that Ari moving closer, then moving back away, wanting the closeness he always had with his husband, and remembering that this wasn’t actually his husband. The Knight wasn’t sure what he should say to offer comfort, not that he needed to. It wasn’t his fault that the Force felt the need to have him wake up here, but he did feel a bit guilty for making the other man upset.

He was about to say something about it when Ari spoke up first.

“Look, Kylo, I need to apologize to you.” He started. “I should never have made that comment to you in regards to Poe. I...I get jealous sometimes, of Ben’s relationship with him. Not that I ever had feelings for him while they were together. But I know he misses him, and honestly I can’t blame him, really. It’s just...I’m pregnant, and things that I can normally keep under control are going wild, and I can’t help going off at random times, and I’m even more sensitive about everything than normal...and then this happens...And I don’t...I don’t know how to deal with it other than yell at you to be Ben. I know this can’t be easy on you, waking up and the man you’re supposed to marry in a couple days has been dead for 3 years. And finding you’re married to another man who’s pregnant with your child.”

“No, this hasn’t been the easiest day of my life, either...and I’m sorry I...I’m sorry I’m not Ben.”

“Thank you.” Ari sounded on the verge of tears again. “I’m sure Luke will figure out a way to fix this.”

“I wish I had your faith, but then, my experience with Luke Skywalker is probably extremely different from anything you’ve encountered.”

“Well, I should say so, if you fell to the Darkside.”

Kylo gave Ari a disgusted look. He was done with the man being snide about his own experiences with the Force. He scooted away from him so he could face him when he yelled.

“You know what? Fuck you! When my parents realized that the voices in my head weren’t just some dark figment of my imagination, do you know what happened? My dad left. And. He. Never. Came. Back. And Mom...she had other important things to do, she couldn’t be bothered to try and make sure whoever was in my head would leave me alone. So she brought me to my Uncle Luke, the Jedi, who would hopefully have all the answers. And you know what he did? He told me to meditate. He told me that peace was the best way to fight this Darkness in my head. He said if I could prove to _HIM_ that I was purely of the Light that he would leave me alone. But _HE_ didn’t and I couldn’t, and Luke couldn’t show me how to block it, how to deal with it, how to overcome it. He just kept spouting how I needed to find peace through the Force. He did NOTHING for me. And, yes, I fell to the Darkside, and he RAN THE FUCK AWAY! So, thank you! THANK YOU Armitage Hux Antilles Organa Solo or whatever the fuck your name might be now, thank you for pointing out once again that I am a weak excuse for Ben Organa Solo, and that my version of his life has royally sucked, that every adult I ever looked up to bailed on me or failed me spectacularly save for a wookie, and that I will never deserve how good I had it before I woke up here. THANK YOU!”

“I’m sorry.” Ari replied in a small voice. “I guess I shouldn’t have come out here. But I...I need Ben-”

“I’M FUCKING NOT BEN!”

“I know. I know you’re not, and it’s not fair of me to judge you against him when you’ve had the life you have. I mean...I realize it’s hard for you to look at your parents or Luke, and not see the people you know instead of the people they are here…”

“Did Han ever leave?”

“No...not exactly. He and Chewie flew a lot of ‘Supply Runs’ where he’d be gone for months on end, even when Poe started going on runs with them. He did that for you, you know...or Ben.”  
  
“He what?”

“He left the Republic Navy to fly with your Dad. To see you more, and be closer to you.”

Kylo’s breath caught at the thought of Poe dropping his dream job in the Navy, his dream of being just like his mother, for him. He wondered if it would have even been a possibility in his world, or if things had played out the way they were meant to.

After a while of sitting quietly again, Ari moved towards Kylo once more. For whatever reason he needed to be close.

“What am I like?” He asked quietly. “Where you’re from?”

Kylo, who had been determinedly not looking at him, glanced over and raised an eyebrow.

“You really want to know?”

“Aren’t you curious how much you differ from Ben?”

Kylo frowned as he considered what more he might want to know about Ben Organa Solo. Then he sighed.

“He...well, he’s rigid and fierce. A force all his own to be reckoned with. He has never let anything stand in his way when it comes to progress in his career.” He stopped and thought about General Armitage Hux some more. “He hates the name Armitage, only goes by Hux if you know him personally enough to not be required to call him General. I was one of very few who did. He hated me.”  
  
“Wait, he did? Why?”

“Because he was required to accept me as Co-commander of the Finalizer when I didn’t have the military background he did. I was basically dropped in, and Snoke demanded he accept me.”

“I suppose if it were me, I wouldn’t be fond of accepting you without merit either.”

“Yeah.” Kylo thought on that for a moment. “Maybe we’re more like our alternate selves than we realize. It’s just the different circumstances we have to deal with that are different. Do...you have friends? Outside of Ben?”

“Yes, of course I do. I was friends with you, er, Ben and Poe the longest thanks to Dara...my sister, but Poe was always great about inviting me to the Pilot’s parties, and Ben took me along to some more diplomatic things when Poe went on missions. Why do you ask?”

“Well, you distance yourself from other people in the First Order. I don’t know that Hux had any friends, he was too busy advancing his career, then trying to regain his lost glory after Starkiller failed. Mind you, that was close to three years ago now, but I didn’t see Hux changing his ways without a good reason.”

“Was he like me...in this way?” Hux indicated his growing stomach.

“As far as I knew, no. Granted Hux would probably have killed anyone who found out...if his father hadn’t made sure he was sterilized first.”

Ari shuddered. “I don’t know which I would have preferred. Him throwing me out, or him keeping me but making sure this would never happen.”

“Would you give him up?”

“Ben?”

“No, this one.” Kylo held his hand over Ari’s stomach. He could feel the small presence in the Force.

Ari grabbed Kylo’s hand with both of his, and pressed it to his warm, growing stomach. They were rewarded with a fluttering series of kicks.

“I could never give him up.”

“Then you know which you would have preferred.”

Ari gave him a watery smile.  

“If only…”

“We’ll work out how to get Ben back here.”

“And you back to Poe.”

“Yeah.”

Ari cuddled in closer to Kylo’s side and kept ahold of his hand. Kylo wondered if Hux would be clingy like this if he’d ever let down his guard and gotten close to somebody.

“So, tell me about your Poe.” He requested as he laid his head on Kylo’s shoulder.

“You really want to know?” He raised his eyebrow again.

“I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t.” But Kylo didn’t answer right away. “It’s...When Poe died here, Ben would disappear for hours at a times, sometimes he wouldn’t come back for days. It was a very dark, very hard time for him. One day I followed him here. He...was so sad...and I...I didn’t know what to do. But I sat down next to him, like this, and asked him to tell me about Poe. He gave he this look, like I was crazy, because I knew Poe very well. I said to him, ‘Not from your perspective.’ After a while he started to talk.”

“You helped him morn…”

“I tried. And eventually we started talking about more than just Poe...but that’s not what this is about. I wonder if we get you connected with your memories of Poe if we can’t get you back to him.”

Kylo grinned over at this version of Hux, impressed. He didn’t have the heart to tell him that he’d been dwelling on Poe before he showed up.

“Alright...well you basically know what happened when my mother sent Poe to retrieve me. We screamed at each other for hours before I finally managed to halfway apologize and tell him a bit of what Snoke did to me. It was almost instant how his eyes changed. And nobody ever looked at me like that...with compassion...like I wasn’t actually something disgusting, and pitiful, and weak, and disappointing. Like I wasn’t a complete waste of time and space, and I didn’t deserve the things that Snoke did to me. To be honest I think I fell in love with him right that second. I...I refused to act on it for over a year…”

“But he pursued you?”

“Well, I knew full well I didn’t deserve him, so I...kept my distance, but Poe, he wasn’t having that. At first it was just...hanging out, or catching a meal together, or consulting on a mission. Whatever it was he always seemed to seek me out.

“I refused to accept that he might have feelings for me that were anything other than professional and possibly friendship. I didn't deserve that after what I did to him. So I was caught completely off guard the first time he kissed me. It...he...I...we ended up yelling at each other because I tried to just walk away, and he tried to apologize for presuming, and I told him he wasn't wrong but I couldn't because of what I did and how I would never be good enough for him so we shouldn't even try. He yelled, loudly, I think he calls it his Commander voice, that I deserve to be happy, that if I wasn't worth his time he wouldn't have wasted it, and that I don't ever get to decide if I'm good enough for him. Only he does.”

“So, that was that, then? You’ve been together ever since?” Ari asked. There was a sad, far away look on his face. Like it was bittersweet to hear about the start of Kylo and Poe’s relationship.

“No, it took months. I told you, I don’t deserve him. Some days I accepted it easier than others. No...it took him getting shot down on a mission...in First Order territory. I, with Finn, Rey, and Uncle Chewie, snuck off base on a secret rescue mission.”

“How did you know he wasn’t dead? How did you find him?”

“I could feel him through the Force.”

“Right...that’s how Ben knew...that the execution wasn’t some hoax here.”

“Yeah, well...I don’t like it...not being able to feel him. What if something happens to him while I’m here? How will I know? How will I be able to find him again?”

Tears started to build in his eyes again. Poe presence in the Force always glowed like a beacon, even when he’d been shot down. Being cut off from it was almost unbearable for Kylo. Ari glanced up at him. Seeing the tears, he began to stroke the hand he clutched tightly against him.

“Alright, tell me more. There has to be more if you’re going to marry the man in 2 days.”

“I...it upsets you to hear.” Ari started to protest, but Kylo kept talking over him. “Even if your feelings weren’t projecting, I can see it in your expression.”

“It’s fine if it’s helping you...because if it helps you get home then it helps me get Ben back, so tell me...about...are you living together, or are you waiting until you’re married?”

“He moved into my quarters almost right away...well, he’d been terribly injured in the crash and had been in the med center for a week. They weren’t going to release him at that point because he would need extra care...and I offered to bring him home with me. I hadn’t exactly left his side since we brought him back.”

“Of course you didn’t. Ben has been sticking to me like glue since we found out I’m pregnant. So you brought him home and took care of him.” 

“As well as I could anyways. Didn’t exactly know how to cook, and I wasn’t the best at taking care of myself...but there was no way I was letting Poe deteriorate and die on my watch. BB-8 was rolling around after me, giving me advice, telling me what I was doing wrong, telling me what I could do instead. I was about ready to take my lightsaber to him when his battery ran low. And Poe...he asked me if I would bring BB’s charging dock in, so he wouldn’t have to leave.”

“So you did, naturally.”

“Well, have you seen invalid Poe?”

“I can imagine, all big eyes and messy curls and pitiful looking...and really utterly irresistible.”

“Exactly. I couldn’t resist that. I can’t resist those looks when he’s completely healthy. Anyways, he kept asking if I would bring stuff over for him, and I kept saying yes. By the time he was recovered enough that he could handle being on his own full time...over half of his belongings had found their way into my quarters.

“He asked if I wanted him to move everything back out, but...I couldn’t bare the thought of him leaving. So he didn’t. He did ask me what had changed, and I told him that the threat of losing him...made me realize...that I would do anything to keep him...even if I didn’t feel like I deserve it. I love him, and I will forever.”

Kylo eyes burned from the tears that wanted to fall, and he was surprised when he heard Ari sniffling next to him. He turned his hand over to squeeze one of the ginger’s.

“So who proposed to who?” Ari sniffled.

“I had a ring...I had it for a couple months trying to work up the nerve to ask. Then he brought me out camping...here. Well, on Yavin. He brought me out to a part of the jungle we explored a lot when we were together before I fell. It was 2 years to the date that I had returned, that he brought me home. He told me he wanted to make sure we celebrated on that day every year because it was the day the love of his life was back again...because I came home.” Kylo had to stop for a moment, before his emotions really overwhelmed him. “Poe thought I was turning him down when I pulled out my ring for him. They were practically the same ring. Here, look.”

Kylo held up his hand to show Ari the ring, but the ring on his finger was different. A dark metal with clear white crystals, and a matching smaller band attached. He gave the ginger man a confused look.

“Those are Ben’s rings.” Ari explained quietly. “Did you expect for everything to follow you?”

Kylo rubbed his face and sighed.

“I guess you’re right.” He laughed a little. “I’ve never take it off, even in the fresher, so it threw me a little. They’re gold with black jewels around the band. But that...Ben has the scar on his face, too? I felt it. He...he dueled Rey...or...she fell, so her name isn’t Rey, is it?” Ari shifted uncomfortably. He glanced up at Kylo, and the Knight could see the apprehension there. Like it was a difficult, painful thing to even think about. “What happened?”

“So much at once.” Ari sighed, and snuggled in close again. “From what we gathered after the fact, Poe arrived on Jakku. He met with his contact, but they were ambushed. The other man was killed on sight, and Poe was taken. The Knight of Ren who took him had been on planet for a while, busy convincing a young scavenger to leave with him. Ben knew...he could feel that Poe had been captured. He wanted to go after him, but there was no intelligence as to where the pilot was taken. Leia forbade him to just leave...and for Han, Chewie, and Luke to just take off with him relying on the Force to show where they needed to go.” Ari stopped and gasped out a sob. When he started speaking again his voice shook with emotion. “I tired. I tr-tried so ha-hard. We-we all did. They de-destroyed his x-wing. I-I didn’t sleep for days. P-poured over ev-every piece of in-intelligence we had. I couldn’t…”

He broke down sobbing. Kylo pulled his hand from his grip and wrapped the now free arm around the pregnant man. The Knight couldn’t help feeling slightly protective of Ari, like the Force naturally extended to protect both of them together. Maybe it was a part of what Ben did instinctively for his husband, and therefore Kylo did it himself.

“Hux...I...shit! Sorry! Ari, I-”

“It’s-it’s alright. It’s be-because of th-the hormones. I j-just...I feel a b-bit responsible sometimes. I ca-can’t help bu-but wonder if Ben d-doesn’t blame me s-some-t-t-times…But th-there was no-nothing.”

Ari snuggled in closer against him, practically moving onto his lap. Kylo shifted uncomfortably. Then the ginger man realized what he was doing, and moved a bit away again.

They were quiet for a few moments while Ari got his emotions more under control again. Then he cleared his throat.

“Poe had been missing for three weeks. The majority of us had given him up for dead already, but those of us who knew Ben closely could see. See that Ben could feel the constant pain he was in. Feel the presence burning in the Force. Feel that Poe was fighting...and feel every time another piece of information was plucked from him because of the shame and self disgust. I think...if it had continued it could have lead to Ben falling. It wasn’t just Poe being tortured. And Snoke...he was trying to lure Ben in. He told me, a long time later. But Poe was being tortured and kept alive on that sick bastard’s orders, and while Ben was prepared to go bargain for Poe’s life, he would never serve him as Snoke wished.

“When Snoke realized Ben wouldn’t fall...not the way he wanted, he ordered Poe’s execution to be public...and performed by his newest apprentice. She goes by Traya Ren. And...that’s what finally made Ben snap and go. Watching her publicly torture him, taunt him, tell him he’d been forsaken by those who claimed to love him, then slowly cut him to pieces using her saber. And she was able to block their Force connection. Ben said it would flare back to life just so he could feel the pain, the helplessness...the wish for death to come.

“We locked on to the signal from the broadcast. Between the Resistance and the Republic...we were able to pinpoint a specific line of coding, and not only did we have the location of Starkiller, we had the ability to track its movements. We started planning an emergency offensive to take it out, had everything in place to move out the next morning when we realized that Ben was gone, along with Han and Chewie. How they managed to get off planet without Luke, we’ll never know, but they were gone.” Ari stopped his explanation and sighed. “Han told me he’d caught him trying to sneak off, convinced Ben to let him and Chewie fly. I don’t know about you, but Ben has never been able to fly very well, especially when his emotions are running high.”

“No,” Kylo replied quietly. “I don’t fly worth shit when I’m in a good mood. I’d probably crash the spacecraft without getting it off the ground if...I lost Poe like that.”

Ari nodded, then continued. “We, Luke and I, rushed off after them. The fleet moved up their departure to minutes after ours. We...we managed to find them. I thought both Han and Chewie were dead, the blood and fur and...It...Chewie had protected Han. Luke yelled at me to get them back to the Falcon while he went after Ben. I tended their wounds as well as I could, but they both needed real medical help as soon as possible. Then the planet started to shake, rumble, break apart which meant the Resistance and Republic had done what they set out to do. It also meant we needed to leave presently...and I didn’t want to leave Luke and Ben behind.

“But then Luke showed up, half carrying him on board…”

“He had a blaster wound to his side, lightsaber wounds to the leg, one shoulder, and down his face to his other shoulder.”

“He didn’t have the blaster wound.”

“No, I...that was from Chewie.”

“He...he shot you?”

“Well, I had just killed Han.”

Ari shuddered and pulled away from Kylo.

“Well, that’s how Ben received the facial scar.” He huffed, his voice suddenly cold. “So, now I know about you and Poe, and now you know about how Poe died here. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll head back to base. I’m really quite tired.”

Kylo let out a frustrated snuff through his nose. This reminded him of the Hux he remembered. The sudden iciness that made him feel utterly worthless.

“So that’s it then?” He growled as the other man scooted away, and struggled to stand. “You remember I’m not your precious Ben and that I’ve done terrible things, and suddenly stop with your clingy, ‘I need to be close to my husband’ act?”

“Well, excuse me for having a poor reaction to you talking so freely about killing a man who, for all intents and purposes, is a second father to me.”

“Well, aren’t you fucking lucky! You and your precious Ben get the model man, while I get someone who ran off when I became more trouble than he thought I was worth. He abandoned me, tossed me away...like your father did to you.”

The ginger finally managed to stand properly. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared down at Kylo.

“The situations are nothing alike.” He hissed.

“No, absolutely nothing alike. My father left when he couldn’t handle my moods and a Darksider trying to control my mind. Your father found out you...what? Have a genetic mutation? Or are part alien?...so he threw you out. But while you got taken in by somebody who clearly ended up caring for you, I got left with my worthless, unhelpful uncle.”

“I was 8 years old when that happened, and I was on my own for months before Wedge, my real dad, found me and brought me home. I was constantly on the run, because what would have happened to me if I’d been taken by slavers. I was lucky if I got to eat every other day. I slept in alleys and if I was really lucky I’d have something to keep me warm at night. Don’t you dare treat me like I haven’t suffered.”

Kylo heard every word. He had every intention of responding when he felt the shift in the Force. It revolved around Ari, who still glared down at him. And Kylo stumbled to his feet, not taking his eyes off the other man.

“What?” Ari hissed at him. “You have nothing to say to that? About how you obviously had it worse that I did?”

Kylo didn’t answer. He let the Force calm around them.

“Kylo?”

“It’s you.” Kylo finally uttered.

“I...what are you-”

“My being here...It’s not about me, it’s about you. I don’t know how or why, but the Force...it’s...Hux is being punished and somehow it’s carried over into this, us.”

Ari’s jaw dropped in shock.

“Are you sure?”

Kylo nodded. “Certain. I need to get back to Luke. This...I am positive this is the answer.”

“Well, then you best get back to Luke.” His voice was still tinged with icy feeling.

“We’re going to need you. To channel the Force through you, so we can find the answer.”

His eyes widened. “I...will it hurt?” He asked, thinking to that morning, and what Luke had done to Kylo.

Kylo picked up on Ari’s worries. He stepped up to him and placed a reassuring hand on his upper arm and squeezed.

“We won’t be going into your mind. More drawing off your presence in the Force. It shouldn’t be anything that would cause you pain or harm.”  He could still see and feel the fear in him, so he squeezed his arm again. “Ari, I promise. We won’t hurt you.”

He nodded. Kylo gave him a reassuring smile. Then he turned and picked up the pack the other man brought out with him. Then Kylo turned and took off at a jog. He hadn’t made it far, when he realized that he’d left Ari behind.  He jogged back to the pregnant man with an apologetic look.

“Sorry! I forgot about the…”

“Fact that I’m pregnant and can’t exactly run?”

“Yeah...Look, do you mind if I...carry you? It’s just the quicker we get to Luke, the faster we can...fix this.”

Ari gave him a wary look, but nodded after a minute. Not wasting another second, Kylo swept him up and ran back towards the base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ps...While I like the name Armitage, I really dislike the nicknames Armie and Tage. So here's a bit of backstory for you...
> 
> Armitage had been on the streets for months when a pilot on a mission found him, and brought him home. Wedge Antilles wasn't sure if he and his family were going to keep the boy, but they could at least make sure he had somewhere safe to sleep and food to eat while they found a home for him. Wedge and Iella had a little daughter named Dara, who instantly loved this older brother. At 3 years she couldn't make all her words and names sound right, so when she was told his name was Armie she said "Ari". From that day forward he was called Ari, and Dara decided they were going to keep him.
> 
> Separate note...The proposal Kylo talks about is covered in the fic "It's not just Pentaday" here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9599438


	3. Things going Wrong and Things going Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Luke with the help from Ari figured out what has happened to General Hux since Kylo deserted the First Order. With figuring it out, and knowing what steps Kylo must take when he returns to his universe, both he and Ari hope things will return to normal the next day.

Kylo had read the shift in the Force correctly. The cause of Kylo’s journey into the life of the Light Jedi, Ben Organa Solo was connected to what was currently happening to General Armitage Hux. Channeling the Force through Ari worked better than Kylo could believe, and they were able to bridge the gap between both planes of being. The Knight was surprised by what they found out.

It started when Kylo disappeared from the First Order on what was supposed to be his first mission since his failure on Starkiller and the poor excuse for what the Supreme Leader said would be the completion of his training. The time came and passed that he was expected back to on the Finalizer, expected to report on the mission and the progress of his training. He was days late, then weeks. When it became clear that the Knight was not returning, the General was summoned to Snoke.   

Hux tried to plead his case. After all, how could he possibly have known? How could he have stopped the accursed Knight from disappearing? He didn’t have the Force. And he was having a difficult enough time keeping the entirety of the First Order in line after the destruction of Starkiller Base. He had to organize the production of a more stable base of operations for the Order.  And there was the construction of the next super weapon, one without the destructive flaw that had been the bane of every other super weapon conceived by the Empire and the Order.

He was told to drop all projects. The remaining Knights of Ren would take over running and commanding the First Order. He would still have his commission, the flagship of the Order, The Finalizer. But from that moment on he would have only one mission as it was clear he could no longer handle the running of the Order proper.. And that was to retrieve his co-commander. If he managed to complete this one mission he would be restored to a former position of power. If not, well, Snoke had to consider his punishment.

Hux assumed that said punishment would be a very public, very painful, very slow death. A show of just how failure was dealt with in the First Order. He also assumed that the amount of time he was given to complete his mission would be short and defined.

He was given no specifics. He had not been pointed in a right or wrong direction. He’d not been given some almighty Force Sensitive Tracker. But that didn’t stop him from using every resource at his fingertips. He sent troops to every corner of the galaxy, undercover agents to every informant he knew of, he sent out what probe droids he could spare.

All forms of inquiries he made turned up no leads. This did not surprise the General whatsoever, and he refused to feel discouraged. He had never failed at a mission before, and he wouldn’t fail this one. (And he refused to consider Starkiller a failed mission. It was not a mission that specifically caused it to fail. It was the Resistance.)

That was the first time it dawned on Hux that Kylo might have done more than run away. He may have turned traitor again, and gone back to his mother, the Jedi, and the Resistance. But that made little sense to Hux. True, he wasn’t on the best of terms with them man (overgrown man child with horrible control over his temper), but he was certain he was loyal to the Order and Snoke. He absolutely could not have gone back to those fools.

So Hux continued to scour the galaxy in his desperate search for Kylo Ren. And time passed both way too fast and way too slow. Hux was certain that he would be summoned back to Snoke, and learn just how terribly he would die 

But to his surprise a year passed. Then two. Hux was hearing rumors, whispers of another Force Sensitive with the Resistance, but he still refused to believe it might be the ex-Lord of the Knights of Ren. He simply could not come to terms with the idea that Kylo would desert like that blasted FN-2187 did.

Then one of his informants smuggled him the announcement.

Kylo Organa Solo, son of the General of the Resistance, was engaged to marry the Resistance’s best pilot, Poe Dameron.

Hux nearly fainted at the news.

When he regained his ability to do anything he redirected his efforts to find the Resistance’s base of operations. If he found the Resistance, he would find Kylo. And he prayed to the Force and the Maker and the Galaxy that he would be able to find both before Snoke found out.

He continued his search, but he started to suspect he was failing on purpose. That he was never meant to succeed. That the Leader intended for him to be forgotten and to ultimately fail. To use resources and the flagship for what would appear to be his own frivolous gain. To be shamed and shunned while the First Order flourished without him.

That left him with two other thoughts. To salvage the situation he absolutely must find Kylo and the Resistance. And just what was the Supreme Leader planning for his punishment?

Hux had assumed all along that his death would be it. If he didn't succeed his life would be forfeited. But to have it dragged out for that long, to keep him in his place with the false hope of success...he wondered if there wasn’t something worse in store for him.

It wasn't long later that he was finally summoned.

As he boarded his shuttle he wondered if he might be sold into slavery. The former General of the First Order was sure to fetch a good price. Maybe he would be reconditioned and made into a Stormtrooper. But, no. The Supreme Leader would want him aware of what happened to him. Aware that it was punishment for his failure to Snoke and the First Order.

And then it struck him. But, again, no. Nobody knew about that. Once it was certain the Commandant’s wife was incapable of producing children, his father made sure **_that humiliation_** would never be possible for Hux. It was a genetic anomaly passed down along his mother's line, whether there was alien blood mixed in our not. Hux was born with the ability to conceive, carry, and birth children.

Brendol Hux brought the boy, Armitage, to a strange planet’s hospital where a procedure was performed with the sole function of removing his ability to conceive. Then the Commandant proceeded to kill the entire medical staff, and blew up the buildings for good measure. He explained to his son that no one was to ever find out this embarrassment. That to tell anyone would be to give them the greatest weapon against him.

And he never had. So it was impossible for ANYONE to know, including Snoke. But then he remembered Snoke had the Force. So there was every possibility that he already knew.

Hux’s fears were confirmed. The Supreme Leader knew, though it wasn’t because he’d been read through the Force. It was because his father had given the secret up himself, and then sold Hux to the Leader since he was no longer any use to the First Order. Literally sold his son to Snoke to use as he would...including for breeding.

It turned out the procedure his father forced him to endure wasn’t binding.

And Hux was to be given to the male Knights of Ren in hopes to produce more Force Sensitive children for Snoke’s future.

“You have to save him.” Ari fretted.

They had retired to their ‘shared’ quarters. Leia and Han had offered to house Kylo for the night, as did Luke, but Kylo didn’t feel right leaving Ari alone. He had no intentions of sharing a bed with him (Kylo was strictly a Poe man), but he wasn’t about to leave the pregnant man on his own after the day they had. He couldn't explain it, but he felt like they were a team.  Ari brought out blankets and a pillow for Kylo to sleep on the couch, then he settled himself on one of the armchairs.

“Ari, I hate to say this, but after what he's done to the Galaxy, he-”

“Don’t you dare! Don't you dare tell me anyone deserves to be sold as breeding stock.”

“Ari…”

“To be raped and forced to bare children from those _unions_.”

“No! Nobody fucking deserves that! But he...he’s done terrible things just like I have...He destroyed the Republic with Starkiller. He’s a criminal of war. I rescue him, and what better fate will I be delivering him to?”

“You were forgiven for your sins. He can be, too. You have to have faith that the Force is leading you right.”

Kylo was not feeling confident in this. He knew the Force was urging him to save Hux. But how was he even going to find him to save him.

“I don’t even know where Snoke his holding him.” Kylo replied quietly, knowing full well he couldn’t leave Hux to his current fate.

“Oh, please! You have the Force!”

“Yeah, and the second I broke Snoke’s hold over me I haven’t been able to get a proper read on him.”

“So don't look for Snoke. You need to find Hux, not Snoke.”

Kylo sighed. “I have a feeling that if I find one, I’ll find the other. And I'll have to convince Poe and my mother that we need to rescue him, too. Luke and Rey will definitely help.”

“If Poe his half the man he was here, you won’t have to convince him. He’ll insist you go.”

Kylo just nodded. Ari was right, of course. Poe would probably insist on flying whatever craft they were given. But it wasn’t only Poe agreeing to help. It was the fact that they would be giving up their honeymoon to rescue one of their biggest enemies.

“That’s even if I get back.”

“You will. I’m certain that the Force brought you here to figure this out. And now that you have, it will send you back so you can carry through with its mission.”

Kylo couldn’t help but laugh a little. He gave Ari a calculated smile.

“How is it you have more faith in this than I do, yet I’m the Force Sensitive one?”

“Probably because nobody used the Force as a weapon to warp me. You know, I’ve seen what you, and your uncle...and Ben can do with it. Yes, I realize what else it can be used for, but...I have faith that you will use it for a better purpose.”

“Now...for a long time, though…”

“Maybe this is a way to help you feel you deserve your redemption.”

“To save Hux?”

“It could very well be more than saving Hux if Snoke is there as you suspect he will be.”

Kylo had wondered about that. This could very well mean a chance to finish Snoke off once and for all. It would need Luke and Rey, which, again, he had no doubt they would help him. Both Poe and Chewie would insist on flying, which means they’d most likely be in the Falcon. Kylo suddenly felt a calm push through the Force. Yes, this was what he needed to do.

He looked over at Ari and nodded again.

“Well, Ari, if this isn’t what I’m supposed to figure out, then I will see you in the morning. If it is…” He stopped for a second. He grinned at the man, and wondered about just how much alike Hux and Ari really were. “I wonder if he hadn’t been so against me, if we might have been friends...allies.”

“He was a fool not to be your ally to begin with, but maybe he’ll get his chance now.” Ari struggled to stand, but made it fairly quickly. He walked to the couch, and bent over Kylo, brushed the hair from away from his face. “I’m glad I had my chance to be your friend and ally.” He kissed the Knight’s forehead and stood back up. “Now, go to sleep, and send me back my Ben. As interesting as it’s been getting to know Kylo, I want my husband back.”

Kylo flushed and snorted.

“Goodnight, Ari. Thanks for believing in me.”

He caught the ginger’s hand, squeezed it, and let it go. Then he rolled over and slept almost immediately.

***

Kylo opened his eyes again, and it felt like almost no time had passed. But he could see through the window coverings that the sky was lightening. It was near dawn. He stretched and rolled, and nearly rolled off the couch. He groaned and wondered if he was still in the other place...with Ari.

Then he heard a quiet beeping. He looked across the room to see BB-8’s charging station with the small droid hooked up to it and slumbering.

He was home!

“POE!” he shouted as he flew up off the couch. He didn’t care if he woke BB-8 or any neighbors...he wanted his fiance! He rushed into the bedroom. “POE!” He jumped onto the bed and wrapped himself around the smaller, very confused, barely awake pilot. Kylo didn’t hesitate to grab his face and kiss him like they’d been apart months or years instead of a single day.

“MMMFF!” Poe tried to say something in shock, struggled slightly, then surged upward into the kiss. He wrapped his arms around his fiancé, and would have wrapped his legs around Kylo’s waist if the blankets hadn’t been in the way. As it was they rolled onto their sides, wrapped up in each other, licking and moaning softly into each other's mouths. Poe finally pulled back, breathless, as Kylo worked to get the blankets moved from between them and failed. “Kylo...thank the Force! You’re back!” He panted as he pressed tightly against his Knight.

“I know...I was so worried I wouldn’t...get back until it was too late. Oh, thank the Force.” Kylo nuzzled against Poe’s cheek, and breathed him in. Felt his Pilot pressed against him, warm and perfect. He wanted to throw the blankets on the floor, pull their clothes off, and give Poe a good preview of their wedding night...but they needed to discuss his discoveries from the previous day. He tried to pull back, but Poe wouldn’t give him an inch. “Poe...we need to talk before we get to carried away here.”

Poe groaned. “Really? After you wake me up and kiss me like that?” He tried to sound disgusted, but he looked far too delighted to have the other man there in his arms for it to sting. “It’s about yesterday, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I...I woke up in a...universe where...shit! It’s complicated.”

“Don’t worry. We don’t have anywhere to be for hours. And I know at least a little...I...I met Ben Organa Solo, the Jedi, yesterday.”

“So, he was here in my place. I wondered.”

Poe nodded, then inched back a little so he could watch Kylo’s face easier, not giving up the bodily contact. He felt the need to be close to his lover, to show his support in whatever happened to him yesterday.  He did know part of it, as he’d spent his previous day with Ben. He listened, concerned as Kylo talked about his morning, his struggles trying to come to terms with the different life the different version of himself had gotten, trying to meditate with his uncle, spending the afternoon on the hill partially with Ari Antilles, figuring out why the Force had sent him there, about what had happened to General Armitage Hux, and what he must do now that he’d returned to the universe he belonged in.

“So, we have to rescue him.” Poe summed up for Kylo.

“Yes.” Kylo replied in earnest. “If he’s anything like Ari under his militaristic facade, he’s worth the rescue. Plus I believe the Force wants me to save him.”

Poe had a complicated look on his face. After all, it was General Hux, and he was responsible for a lot of pain and death in the Galaxy. Kylo knew it would be hard for his pilot to come to terms with this. He brushed against his mind with the Force, and sent a reassuring pressure after it.

Poe nodded. “How soon do we need to go?”

“Tomorrow. After the reception. I would wait longer, but I fear he’s already been...bred...if he hasn’t already been forced to bear a child he will be soon, and bred as soon as he’s able to conceive again.”  
  
“So our Honeymoon trip will have a few more members than just us.”

“At least three more. Four if Finn comes with.”

“And you’re certain this is what the Force wants?”

Kylo nodded sadly.

“I’m sorry, Poe. I don’t know why, but yes. I feel the Force pressing me to rescue him.”

“Alright. Are you sure we can wait? Not leave today?”

Kylo smiled warmly and embraced Poe more tightly against him.

“I appreciate the offer, but no. The Force is pressing me in this as well. We’re meant to be, bound through the Force. So we get married tomorrow. Celebrate with everyone. Then we go rescue Hux.”

“Alright, then we best get up, and go find Luke and Rey. And your mother. We should at least try to get her blessing before we leave on our Honeymoon and return with former General Armitage Hux of the First Order in tow.”

“Maybe a shower...you know, to wash yesterday off of me, and maybe enjoy my fiancé a bit before we get busy with last minute wedding prep and rescue planning.”

“I think I could get onboard with that.” Poe smiled.

The Pilot unwrapped himself from Kylo’s arms and the blankets of the bed and stood up.  Then he reached for his Fiancé’s hand. They were going to do this...all of it...together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is what happens when I listen to what the story wants to do. (The story goes where it wants, I just write it down.)
> 
> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!!
> 
> Also, I live over on tumblr... http://delisalicious.tumblr.com/ ... so yeah... :-)


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